The race communications have been very clear that this is not your standard 50K race. They expect it to feel a lot more like a 50 mile race, both in effort and duration.
I realized in the priorities of my life, training was not what it could have been in August and wrote about it yesterday. And initially, I had even thought I would drop this race from my calendar, after signing up for it now 10 months ago. I came back and kept my entry with a tougher viewpoint of "What's the Worst That Can Happen?" and was glad I kept it on my calendar. This is the first exclusively racing trip where my husband Steve will travel with me. Because I truly don't know what's on the other side of this.
|I have studied the course and understand what I'm getting myself into.|
Will I get hurt? Will I get sick (like heat exhaustion, dehydration, etc.)? Will I get pulled at the mile 24 cutoff (the only midrace cutoff)? Will I finish and be a complete blob of muscular nothingness and in serious post-ultra pain? I don't know.
The theme in my last couple weeks has been thinking about the word FAILURE.
|Thank you, Merriam-Webster!|
And what is specific then in your perception of failure is what is the DUTY OR EXPECTED ACTION.
Here's what could be a failure on Saturday:
- Failure to complete the race - this is the usual and obvious definition.
- Failure to try - if I don't toe the line. If I don't give good effort during the race.
- Failure to run smart - guilty of that at Tahoe Rim Trail or I shouldn't have had heat exhaustion.
And here's what will make this endeavor never ever a failure in my eyes, regardless of the completion on Saturday:
- I dreamed of embarking on adventure
- I had the balls to sign up
- I will get to use tools I've never tried in a race - UV water purification and carrying all my footcare products for any triage on the fly!
- I will see amazing scenery on Saturday
- I will be in the presence of wonderful people who share a passion for the same sport I do
- I will have memories, good or bad, that are not easily erased or softened with the passage of time - nothing reinforced that more than Tahoe Rim Trail 50 Mile this year!
- I will be in a place where, without running, I would have never ever gone. I mean, c'mon, MOUNT ST HELENS!!
This is what keeps me excited while keeping fear and much of the nervous energy at bay. Because, in my eyes, this trip will never be a failure.