Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Respect Yourself and Those You Love

On my 10th wedding anniversary, I wanted to deviate slightly from my super-running-related posts and post about a recent conversation with my husband, Steve.  A couple nights ago I shared with him a Facebook status a friend had posted about how her husband works during the day and then comes home and does nothing in the evening to help her around the house or with their three children, and he demeans what she does all day.  Several other mutual friends, moms, had chimed in that they are in the exact same circumstances.

I can't help that I'm always shocked about these stories, although I know how much of the norm it really is out there in this world still.  We've made such strides in feminism, but there are men out there who don't respect their women.  And it's not helped by the fact that these women do not respect themselves enough to stop it.  I'm happy to hear this friend stating she is putting her foot down - she's realizing her value and her worth, and she's willing to fight for it.

Steve has always been a completely equal partner in our marriage and an equal partner in our parenting.  Sometimes he's carried a little extra weight and sometimes I have.  10 years ago, when I was at my sickest and on disability leave from work and at my most bedridden, he pulled so much of the weight of the house, while being worried for me and our future, and he made it look so easy.  Each time one of his new award-winning, best-selling video games is getting ready to come out, all the other company wives and I become widows for a couple months.  The "crunch" as we all call it has a lot of 18-20 hour days, 7 days a week, this whole couple month period.  Those are the times I pulled a little extra weight.

He respects that a stay-at-home mom's days are long, without many breaks, and tiring.  He recognizes and embraces the limited time he gets each day with his daughter in the mornings and evenings.  He's taken care of me through this first trimester of the pregnancy. 

But my current reflection is how happy I am that our daughter Marissa, and our upcoming second kid, will get to grow up seeing what an equal household looks like.  Our children will model their relationships after that.  He gives me the credit for showing Marissa what a strong, independent woman is like who respects and knows herself.  I give him the credit for showing her what it's like to respect the ones you love and not give more value to one type of "job" a parent holds, over another.

And to tie it back to running too, he gets major props for always being so supportive of this obsessive, all-encompassing hobby of mine. :-) He's not a runner, he doesn't exercise or do sports (although I should note we even out because he does a much better job of eating healthy than I do).  He recognizes how much healthier running has made me over the years, he recognizes that it helps me maintain a solid adult identity outside of being a mother, and he supports me unconditionally in all my running-related efforts.

My husband and I have been together more than half my life, and I look forward to so many more years together!
Awful pic of me, so tired after a big PR at Houston Half Marathon, Steve was there to celebrate with me!


  1. That's super sweet! :) My hubby and I BOTH work in the video game industry (though we've been blessed lately with not-so-much crunch) so we totally know how it is. Congrats on making it 10 years! =)

  2. Congratulations on your anniversary! From reading I think I know why it's lasted 10 years (I'll be celebrating 24 years this November).

  3. Great post! My hubby and I celebrate our 10th in September!! Amazing how time flies :-)