The thought has been spilling around in my brain after Mark O. and I had a discussion where I was putting myself down a little about my own running in being complimentary about someone else's. I said I wasn't a hardcore runner or a real runner like "so-and-so". He immediately V8-smacked me in the forehead mentally by asking me why I thought that. And I couldn't really answer. Obviously, I still have confidence issues in my running.
I hate running in the heat. I hate running in the rain. I hate running in the cold. I hate running in the really cold. I hate running really hard until your lungs hurt and you think you might fall over. But I've had almost a year now of doing just that consistently. And my husband points out I kinda revel in celebrating the runs that I just described I hate. So why?
Because I HAVE turned into a hardcore runner. I've transformed in the last year. This is a test, this is all a test....of my will, of my drive, and I AM WINNING. And those harder runs or harder elements allow me to keep reproving it to myself.
Question for a future blog entry someday: do I need to keep proving it to myself? and if so, why? and is that okay?
hard-core [hahrd-kawr, -kohr] –adjective unswervingly committed; uncompromising; dedicated
hardcore - Intense. Relentless.
I may not be fast. I may not do the number of miles many runners do. I may play little games to keep myself motivated. I surround myself with like-minded folks to help me be supported in pursuit of my goals. But I'm hardcore, and I'm finally ready to admit it to myself. The hardest piece of that puzzle is that being hardcore has nothing to do with whether or not I run a 7 minute pace, or run 7 days a week, or run 9 miles around White Rock Lake every Saturday... what a mental breakthrough.
After a 3 mile run last night in 22 degree weather, I followed it with a 3 mile run this morning in 16 degree weather (5 degree windchill). I obsess about my race calendar and my running goals to keep that momentum. I annoy everyone in my virtual life with Facebook status updates of my latest running exploits because they keep me accountable. I have become way more dedicated and committed to maintaining and improving my running base in the last 12 months. Intense? Relentless? Dedicated? Unswervingly Committed? Yep, hardcore it is then. :-)
So if you aren't hardcore about your running and you want to be, why aren't you? And if you want to be, how are you going to get there? Because if a caterpillar like me, the one quoted as saying "I don't like to sweat" and who has joked about half marathons that I'm "just there for the food" (yay, quarter-bagel), can turn into a hardcore running butterfly, I know you can.